sorting out priorities
by don't sweat the small stuff
Summary: more poop


"So it starts like this:

I could have thrown a party and danced over a rainbow and sung a million hymns to the city below at the top of my lungs, but I didn't. Mainly because Len was my neighbour and if he heard me celebrating his breakup with Miku like there was no tomorrow, he would probably cry. Probably. Len's just a sensitive person like that.

So instead I have a mini celebration in my bed on a Monday morning, before sighing sadly and all, because despite Len and Miku no longer hitting it on with each other, there's still a 99.999999999999999999% Len would not even look at me in _that_ way for more than a millisecond, because I am his 'best friend' and no more than just his 'best friend'. And by in _that_ way, I mean he would look at me and possibly get turned on, because that is a No-No in the Book of Best Friend Rules, especially if you dare say we have been Best Friends to such a young age we even _bathed_ together. Yep, that's right. We hopped in a tub naked and gave each other Santa beards. Charming, I think not?

Yes, so, that's the highlight of my Monday morning, before remembering that I had to go to school and see Len all depressed and Miku all bubbly and bright like she usually is, pretending she did not just drop the Most Amazing and Handsomest Man-Boy in the Whole Universe and All Other Universes. Seriously, Miku just attracts them like bees to honey. And then she dates them. And then she gets bored because they probably don't know enough sex positions. And then she dumps them within one to three months later, when they could be the Most Nicest and Sexiest Guys ever. I don't know what she expects of men, seriously. I mean, if I had the decent-man-attracting gift (which, unfortunately, I do _not_ because I'm seventeen, I look like a human pizza and my boobs are struggling to even fit B-cup – and that is a sad, sad feeling to have when you're female) I would rape Len, and we would have beautiful pizza-faced children with B-cup boobies and life would be bootyful.

Anyway, Len and she actually lasted _five months_, believe it or not. I thought they were seriously going to get married. I was preparing for the moment where they send me that gold-encrusted wedding invitation and me having to wear my One and Only Good Dress to their wedding and feeling immensely sorry for myself. And then I would become one of those people who get forever caught up over someone's marriage and I would be sitting in the corner of my crummy apartment eating a tower of on-sale chocolates from Valentine's Day a week ago, crying into my cat's fur and moaning, "_We could have had it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall _!"

I could imagine that happening. Seriously.

I leave home in a rather content mood, not knowing whether I am exactly overjoyed to be rolling my ass to school or depressed that I lack the attractive female qualities men currently search for. And then it starts raining, and I'm just like, _oh, fantastic, RAIN, COME DOWN UPON ME AND MAKE MY GODDAMN UNIFORM SEE-THROUGH_. Like, I like rain and all, but not when I haven't got an umbrella. That's sort of… not fair. Stupid weather.

I was expecting Len to skip school for about two days to recover from his breakup with the Love of His Life, so I nearly have a heart attack and a half when he steps out of my peripheral vision and offers an umbrella.

Well, he doesn't offer it, he just goes, "You're getting wet." And then puts it over his and my head.

And because I'm having this mini fan-girl attack because _omgomgomgomg we're sharing an umbrella OMG_, my joy comes out totally reverse and I grunt, "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome, Grumpy Pants," he retorts, before purposely shoving me over so I nearly fall into some random garden and get eaten alive by carnivorous plants. "I'm sorry; my hip just detached itself from the rest of my body and had the urge to push you over. Do forgive me, Princess Grumpy."

So I shove him back. "Whoops, my hands were just possessed by a ghost who dislikes abuse against women. Sorry."

Len smiles, finally, this smile that makes my insides melt down out of my belly button and gather in a massive pile of goo at my feet, and my heart just about dies, and my brain stops working for a second or two. Ah, he's such a fine man. Why, I'd like to hang a million pictures of his smile across my wall and frame them with cheesy love quotes. Unfortunately I only have one picture of his beautifully gorgeous smile that is butchered by my sunburnt and hideous half-grin that makes me look like a pirate or something. It's like, _ahoy me hearties_, just here to ruin the amazingly incredible picture.

Ah, sadness. It returns.

"What's with the down face, Rin?" Len asks all brightly and cheerfully, and I'm just like _wait, whut_, because isn't he supposed to be – you know, unhappy? His girlfriend just dumped him. Unless Miku was kidding in that text…

Oh God.

"Rin? You look like you're in pain?" I look back at Len and then force this smile that I had no idea I could summon.

I somewhat playfully slap his arm just to make it look like I'm totally OK, and not dying silently inside because _friends, oh friends, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY FRIENDS_. "Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking about…" Oh shit, what's something that every teenager hates equally? "…Maths."

Len stops smiling and raises an eyebrow. "I thought you liked Maths?"

"I mean, um, English. Or whatever that one is, with the long words and awful headaches." I gesture flippantly to the ground in front of me, laughing awkwardly.

Len continues staring at me strangely like I just told him that my aunt got it on with a donkey. "But… you like English too, right? You get A's in like, every subject."

"PSHHHHH PFFT! That doesn't mean I _like_ every subject, though, I mean, I just bury myself in study every weekend -"

"With video games?" he questions and I turn red. Okay, so, maybe I have _brains_ but guys don't usually throw their bodies at girls with brains because apparently knowing the difference between their and they're and there is uncool. And I play video games. So what? It's the highlight of my life, seriously.

"I'm going to change the subject now without suspicion so – Len, _Len_, dear–" Shit, did I just call him _dear_? Well, that's not awkward. Totally, "–how was your weekend? Did you save anyone's life? Did you water your garden? Did you water anyone else's?" Wow, so this is sounding a little bit kinky. Just a little bit. Not a whole lot or anything.

Len hesitates. He _hesitates_. Len never hesitates, so that means I just screwed up big time. Well, whoop-de-doo, Rin, I think you deserve a pat on the back. "Oh, well, my weekend… was normal," he says. "And I don't know what you mean by watering gardens; neither do I _want_ to know, judging by what goes on in your mind. How was your weekend?"

Oh.

So his weekend was _normal_.

That means…

Oh.

Sadness.

"It was another weekend," I respond. "Like the weekend before, and the weekend before, and the weekend before – spent alone, playing video games on my own, feeling sorry for myself because I just do, and cats." I don't mean to make it sound like I'm desperately forever alone, but it does, and I turn red, so I just look at my feet and the wet concrete underneath.

Len coughs. "Why do you feel sorry for yourself, Rin?" he asks. "You're not dying of something cancerous, are you? And planning to tell me two weeks before you do conk it, so I feel like the worst best friend ever?"

"I – psh, _cancer?_ No. I'm not lucky enough for that. I'm just being Rin. Rin is always feeling sorry for herself." Now I'm talking in third person. Is that even legal? I'm not sure. But a lot of things are illegal in this world and people are still doing it. Like smoking marijuana. And LSD. And crap. And then they wonder why the heck they can't get a job, because their brains are backwards. Ah, world, why are you so shitty?

I don't want to have to make up some sob-story instead of admitting I'm depressed because the person I want to copulate with and have wanted to copulate with since eons ago has a girlfriend and therefore I am just a depressed person, so I quickly ask, "How're you and Miku going? Still got it strong?"

That's just an awful question to ask, being in love-love with Len-Len and all and not actually caring if they did it doggy style on Saturday night, but I really couldn't honestly think of anything else. I'm such a stupid human being. How am I even alive today? I should have died from like, brain cancer or severe obesity or something like that, goddammit.

Len then looks at me all weirdly, like I asked him if he had syphilis or something, and says, "I thought Miku would have told you by now?"

"Told me what?" Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops.

"That she and I broke up on Sunday," he tells me. Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops. He's not going to _cry_ is he? Oh God, if Len cries, I will cry, and then we'll both be standing in the middle of a footpath while it's raining crying at each other. And it will make no sense. And then I'll have to apologise through my tears and my snotty nose, with boogers running all over my face, and then I'll be classed and the Worst and Ugliest Best Friend Ever.

"I'm sorry," I quickly blurt out before he starts sobbing like a baby. "I'm really sorry, I didn't know -"

"No, no, it's okay, Rin. It's fine." He smiles uneasily and pats my shoulder. "It was a mutual thing; we both agreed it was going nowhere so we just broke up."

We fall into this awkward silence. "I'm really sorry," I continue.

"Rin, stop apologising or I will gag you with that bow of yours – _Seriously_." Len looks at me, giving me this hard expression. "It's a mutual thing. We both fell out of 'love' and fell in 'love' with other people. It's not like I'm completely heartbroken or anything."

All of a sudden, there's this lump in my throat and I can't respond. He just told me he likes someone else. You know when you feel so sad you want to curl up into a tiny ball and cry yourself to nonexistence? Yeah, that's how I feel right now. "…Oh," I say, finally, in this small voice. "Well, that's good – I mean, I don't like it when you're sad – I – I mean when your love isn't uh, returned – y-you know?"

I keep staring at the ground. I don't feel like looking up at him.

Len's silent, like he's waiting for something. Or he's thinking or something. Or whatever. I just wish I had no tear ducts for the moment, because I'm on the verge of just crying. Jesus Christ, teenage hormones. Why are you so awful? Don't make me all depressed in front of Len. Please. Please, good lord, don't do this to me. Don't make me cry like a baby like you usually do at happy endings in Disney movies. At least make me get hit by a truck before that. Or something. I just – I just can't cry and then ruin everything and _ugh_, ugh, this is horrible. These feelings are horrible.

Okay, so I cave, and I end up making this sound between a whale drowning and a zebra giving birth.

Therefore, I drop to the ground all stealthy like and let Len walk forward for a few suspended moments with his umbrella, and hope I drown in a puddle or something. (But it doesn't happen. It never happens. The gods like to see me suffer.)

Then I just lay face-down on the pavement and hope I get HIV from the ground and die.

"Rin?" Len calls, somewhere nearby that I can't see nor I want to see. I just wail into the ground in response. Ahhhhhhh who cares anymore. I think we established I'll be all alone for eternity with my cats and my video games. The rain stops hitting my backside so I guess Len is standing over me now with the umbrella. "Rin, are you alright?" His voice actually sounds panicky, like he's literally thought I just had some sort of strange blood clot in my brain and died in the middle of the pavement.

OK, wow. I made Len sound scared for my wellbeing.

That's funny.

Not.

"Rin?" he continues, shaking my shoulder violently.

I cry.

"_Rin_ – Rin, Jesus, are you okay? Why are you crying into the path? Are you hurt? Can you stand up? Can you hear me alright, Rin?" Len keeps asking, trying to push me onto my back so I'll look at him. But I'd rather not, because he's literally _bending over me_, breathing down my neck and everything and no – _no_ – those actions should be illegal.

Eventually he gets me onto my back and I just look at him and cry uselessly. What am I supposed to do? Break out into a song? I really only know Disney songs, so…

No.

"Rin, where does it hurt? Tell me where it hurts, Rin?" he asks all desperately, and God, oh God, I wish Len was all desperate like this over me every day. Unfortunately he's not, and probably never will be.

Cries.

I just gesture to my chest because that's probably where the most realistic pain is happening, and he just looks like I just gave birth to a chinchilla on the pavement. "Okay – okay, do you want me to call an ambulance, Rin – can you breathe alright? Can you stand up?"

_WHAT?_ IS HE EVEN BEING SERIOUS? THIS MAN – HOW INSENSITIVE CAN HE BE? WHY ARE THESE THINGS EVER NOT ILLEGAL?

"SHIT, LEN!" I wail, "DO YOU LITERALLY THINK I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK? ARE YOU THAT AWFUL OF A PERSON?"

Len looks taken aback. "I – I – _how else_ am I supposed to respond? You pointed to your chest!" Then he looks straight at my boobs and I think his eyes just about bulged out of his head. Or maybe I am hallucinating.

"Yes, but – _ugh_ – UGH – just leave me here to die, you're obviously not worth my time." I roll over to face away from him and curl up into a ball. Shivering. Yes, it's cold and I'm shivering. Maybe I'll catch pneumonia and die. Len is just too frustrating, sometimes.

Len leans over me even more, so that his legs are touching my back. Jesus, that sounds kinky. "Rin, will you just tell me what's wrong?" he asks. Then he adds, "We're going to be seriously late for school." (Which ruins the dramatic, touching atmosphere – LEN, AGAIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.)

"Screw school," I mutter.

"_Rin_," he persists.

"Fine," I say. "_Fi_ne, just one question – what were we discussing before I ended up on the floor?"

Len blinks. "Do you have a concussion?"

"ANSWER MY QUESTION."

"Uh – um, we were discussing… Miku and I's breakup?" he queries.

"Yes, go on."

"…and that it was mutual?"

I nod.

"And you mentioned something about me having my love return- _Oh_." He falls silent like he's just realised something, and stops leaning over me, his legs touching my back and all. I don't want to look at him, but I do, just to check he's still there and hadn't ran off because of how horrified he is or whatever. He's sitting on the ground, his knees tucked up to his chest, silent. His gaze is averted to the side. He shifts kind of uncomfortably.

"Um, Rin?"

"Yes?" I don't want to hear this.

"Could you um, just – uh, keep your eyes closed for a bit? And not look at me?"

"_Why?_" I can't help but sound completely hurt. Why doesn't he want me to look at him? What? Do my eyes make him feel awkward or something?

He hesitates. "Um – um… it's um… I have…" I don't hear the last past, because he basically says it so quietly.

"What?"

"I have… an um, a… boner…"

"A _WHAT?_" I don't mean to sound flabbergasted, but I totally do, because Len – Len has – oh _God_. This is – _wow_. Um. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Len winces. "Can you please shut your eyes? Please, Rin?" he asks. So I do.

Then I inquire, "How on earth did you get an erection? Does me lying in a foetal position turn you on?"

He stays silent for a while. "Well… your bra is quite _pretty_," he offers all awkwardly. Then I realise that my uniform is probably, most likely see-through, so… Oh. "And I just – I um, I'm a _guy_, Rin, with guy thoughts – and a bra and a really pretty girl aren't the best things to have shown in front of you – or uh, _und_er you."

"I'm sorry that I'm so amazingly gorgeous and am wearing a bra, Len," I say, kind of light-heartedly. "Though I'm rather glad that I've caught _one_ guy's attention, with my tendency to be a slut, baring my midriff and all."

I think my day got a little bit better – I gave Len an erection.

THAT IS HAHAHA HAHAH

HAHAHA WOW.

I am so gross.

And he admitted that he thought I was really pretty. Wow. Len admitted that. My best friend admitted that. The guy I have been crushing on since grade six had admitted that.

I just – I'm sort of happy. Minus the awkwardness of the whole situation, but _God, _am I happy.

So, here we are, sitting on a concrete footpath in the middle of a shower, my eyes closed and Len totally embarrassed because _hormones_, kids, _hormones_. Need I say more? Nope.

Then Len puts something warm over my torso and says, "Uh, wear this, otherwise the whole school will be staring at you."

"Can I open my eyes?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Just – don't look at my crotch."

I open my eyes to see he's kind of bent over me again and he's put his jumper on my chest. "Why didn't you give this to me sooner?" I ask, pulling it on and zipping it up.

"I only just remembered. Sorry, Rin." He looks really apologetic, too. He helps me up and grabs the umbrella.

But I still enjoy embarrassing him. "You just didn't give it to me because you wanted to ogle more at my bounteous breasts," I joke and he turns red.

Then he sighs. "Look – Rin, can we just forget what happened before – I mean, uh -"

"No." I look at him strangely.

"What? Why?" He gives me this shocked expression back.

"No. Just no – why would you ask someone to just _drop_ their memories or whatever? We can't just for_get_ what happened, Len. Are you honestly – are you honestly that thick? Do you – did you not under_stand_ anything that just happened – why do you… Why can't you pick up the hints? Is it not obvious when I started crying after you said you _loved_ someone or whatever?" My voice cracks noticeably and I feel the tears coming back again, so I just look down at the ground. "Do I have to spell it _out_ to you?"

Then I ask, "Am I really that ugly?"

And Len just immediately responds with, "_No_, Rin, did I ever say you were ugly?"

I start to cry again.

"_Rin_," he says. "Oh, Rin, please – please don't cry like this – please." He touches my arm gently, like Len always does, just gently. With care. Like he's afraid I might break or something. "You aren't ugly, Rin, you aren't – you are _beauti_ful, you are, you're _beauti_ful – stop saying these things – stop crying because you aren't ugly, Rin, please."

I can't stop. Like, I think my tear ducts are broken and are overflowing.

"Rin," he repeats, touching my arm again, sliding his other arm around my shoulders so he can pull me into this hug which will mean _nothing_. _Nothing_. "Rin, please. Please don't do this." _Please?_ Please don't do _what?_ Breathe? Have feelings? Exist? Jesus Christ, Len, do you think I am psychic? I may have known you since forever, but effing hell, you are a _male_ and you damn obviously have different things going on in that head of yours.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"Who is what?" he asks back.

"You know who I'm talking about – _who do you like_, Len? Who's the girl? Do I know her?"

Len doesn't respond for a while, he's just silent, hugging me. "I don't -" he says, "I don't – I'm not – _God,_ Rin, I just – Christ."

"That isn't a valid answer," I mutter.

"You're not even letting me _answer_ properly, goddammit, Rin," he states.

"Of course I am!" I exclaim, pulling away. He looks at me, through those eyelashes I would possibly murder someone to get – but of course, I wouldn't kill _Len_ – his expression unreadable, just the hue of blue present in his eyes. "It doesn't take a person more than a minute to answer the simple question – _Who do you like?_ – Seriously, Len, which girl do you look at and think, 'Wow, I think I really like her. I think I really want to make out with her. I think I really want to have sex with her.'?"

"I don't look at a girl and think about wanting to have sexual intercourse with her -"

"BUT I'M SURE YOU GET TURNED ON WHEN YOU _DO _CONSIDER HER NAKED, NEXT TO YOU, IN A BED -" I take a breath, seeing as Len is currently alarmed at my sudden vocal strength. "Len, be honest with me – when you look at _Miku_, for example, and you consider the option of her naked body pressing up against yours, are you disgusted or horny?"

And then Len frowns and says, "Rin, these are very personal questions -"

And I just groan and walk off. He's – _ugh_. Yes, maybe those questions were getting a bit personal, but we've technically known each other since the beginning of the universe and I've seen him naked, and it's not like I'm asking him if he _touches_ himself on thought of his – his concubine or whatever she is – and GAH. GAH. Should I throw myself in front of a bus? _Now?_ And save me from being forevermore miserable?

"Rin," Len calls, quickly hurrying after me. "_Rin_, don't walk off in the middle of this conversation – Rin, _please._" He reaches out and grabs my elbow. I yank it from his grasp and turn to look at him. "Rin, don't be this way – I – I just – I'm sorry, Rin."

"Don't – don't _do _this, Len – don't give me this 'please' business, and don't _apologise_ because heck, apologising does absolutely _no_thing," I say. "_Len_, just don't."

Len closes his eyes and presses his hands up against his head, breathing out through his mouth. "Do you really want to know?" he asks. "Do you really? Why do you have to know these things when it could break your heart, Rin?"

So that means he _does_ like someone else, preferably someone I don't like…?

"Because I'm your _best friend_, Len, because I deserve to know – because if it breaks my heart I'm just hoping that maybe it'll just stop me from being such a sucky person, so I'll actually lose hope that this – our friendship – can be _any_thing." He opens his eyes to give me this strange look. "So just break it, Len," I whisper.

I don't know whether Len is mentally retarded, because he then admits, "I love you."

"_Len_," I say.

"I love you, goddammit," he repeats, rubbing his eyes like this is making him tired. "I do."

"Len, don't." I look at him, confused. He shakes his head. "Len, you don't _like_ me, you don't have to _do_ this -"

He steps forward, ducking his head down so it's level with mine. He places his hands on my shoulders and shakes me gently. "When did I say I didn't like you, Rin? When? You haven't even given me a chance to respond to the question you asked 842 words ago."

"What words? What are these words -"

"Rin, I know you love me – and I _love _you, and if you're not going to believe that – well, you're going to have to, because too bad." Len smiles, a crooked smile, but it's beautiful, it's freaking beautiful.

"Then why did it _take_ you this long to admit it?" I ask.

"Because I didn't want to ruin this," he murmurs, gesturing to all of me. "I don't want to ruin what I've already got, but I guess I did trying _not_ to, anyway."

I can't think of anything else to say, so I just intelligently go, "Oh."

He laughs. "I'm sorry, Rin."

"Don't be," I say.

Then we kind of just edge forward – you know, kind of, in this slow motion – and he moves his arms so they're wrapped around my lower back. And I wrap my arms around his neck and tilt my head slightly and –

You know what? I'm just going to leave it there.

We kissed, got married and had sex and stuff. And had kids. And then died.

Just so you know.

And then I woke up to discover that whole dream was – well, a dream – and that I am immensely grossed out, because Len is my twin brother and… yeah. Sibling relationship = ruined. I can no longer look at him in the same way.

Thank you, screwed up mind. And thank you, hormones," I finish.

"Rin, I think you need to sort out your priorities," Miku states. "But firstly – why does this ruin your sibling relationship? It's not like in the dream you mentioned you _were_ related."

"But it's _gross_. He's my _brother_." I give Miku and Luka a desperate expression.

Miku sighs and brushes off my remark. "Why was I the slut in your dream?"

"It's because you _are_," Luka admits.

"I do agree," I say, taking a bite of my sandwich. Made by Len.

Oh.

Miku groans. "It's not like I can help it my uniform is small! And I don't sleep around with different guys – my heart is set on my one and only Kai-chan!" she exclaims.

"But didn't you say you made out with your cousin or something like that last year?" Luka asks.

"Miku made out with _Mikuo_?" I echo, horrified.

"I was drunk!" she squeals, blushing.

Len rolls into the conversation, from like, my left or something – like, he leans over me and nearly makes me pass out from his deodorant fumes. "That's what she said," he quotes, resting his chin on top of my head and leaning all his weight on me.

"How long have you been standing there?" I demand.

Len raises his eyebrow at me. "Ooh – have you been gossiping about me, Rinny?"

I open my mouth to go, _pshhh naw no way_, but Luka interrupts smoothly with, "Yes, we have, and _Rinny_, he's been standing there for about thirty seconds." I shoot a glare in her direction and she just smiles.

"So what were you talking about? My sexy abs? I can flex if you want," Len jokes, and I roll my eyes. "Don't be that way, Rin, I know you love them."

"_Sure_," I say. "Sure."

Miku then pipes up with, "No, we were discussing a strange dream Rin had and you were in it." Now it was Miku's turn to receive the death glare

"Oh," Len says, looking a little… uncomfortable. "_Oh._ Dreams. _Inter_esting. Did you ride dragons and things, Rin?"

"I wish," I admit, staring down at my sandwich in my hands and feeling so incredibly awkward I don't even know anymore.

Luka says, "No, instead she apparently rejoiced because Miku and you broke up."

"What -" I start, turning furiously pink.

"Miku and I aren't even dating," Len points out, chuckling. "Why were you rejoicing about that anyway? Don't you want me to have a girlfriend, Rin?"

"I – I – _psh_, yes, of course I do, but – um." I look over at Luka and Miku for help, but they're just giggling together behind their hands. Stupid friends. Ugh. "It was just a dream…?"

Len raises his eyebrows. "Alrighty, then. Anyway, I was just coming by to see if the lunch was okay – is it okay, Rin?" He stops to look at me.

"Um." I look down at my half-eaten sandwich. "Yes, it's delicious. Thank you, Len."

He grins. "Awesome," he responds, before leaning down and pecking me on the forehead. I flinch. Len usually always kisses me on the forehead – it's just a sibling _thing_, I mean, I kiss him on the cheek sometimes – but today it just makes me feel really awkward and everything because he does it in front of Luka and Miku directly after I tell them about this _incestuous_ dream, especially the same day I _had_ the dream, and for some reason he just lingers longer and ugh – _ugh_ – Rin, you _do_ seriously need to sort out your priorities. And probably take a trip to the school counsellor.

Miku leans towards me once Len is out of earshot. "He has a secret desire to feel you up, Rin. I think you should invite him to your bedroom one day."

"I am not taking incestuous advice from someone who has made out with their cousin. Because that is ew," I conclude, standing up with my lunch in hand. "Now I am going to go far away from you people who interpret Len just being his usual brotherly self as something romantic, because no – just no. No. He's my _brother_."

And then I go and sit with Meiko, who molests me with her boobs for the rest of lunch.

* * *

_HELLO I'M BACK AGAIN YAY stop them tears I know you want me._

_okay so I'm sorry this is just - I'm sorry this is just the way it is? it started off originally with just Rin rejoicing about Miku and Len breaking up and stuff, and I was like, "Let's do a humour story." but nopenopenopenope, in the middle of it I had to make Rin some emo depressed teenager, so I was like, "Okay... drama?" and then I don't know what happened, but my brain was just like, "herpaderp LET'S SCREW WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S MINDS." therefore it ended up as a conversation between Rin, Luka and Miku, and me going . wat. wat did I do just there. (things like that should be illegal. it really should. I should be arrested.)  
_

_so I'm really sorry if I gave you guys brain cancer whilst you read all of this -_ if _anyone had read this (but I highly doubt it because that amazing summary. these amazing skills at writing. LOOK AT THEM. LET THEM PUNCTURE YOUR EYEBALLS)_._ super duper sorry. this is just me trying to be all chill and de-stress myself but if I do humour stories they usually end up with someone crying. somehow. IDKW._

_I have sucky poo poo skills with everything ughhhh._

_therefore I'm going to stick with hurt/comfort and crap for now. and apologise for being such a jerk and slack and horrible author. IF YOU HAVE READ MY OTHER STORY I DO WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT CHAPTER 2 IS IN PROGRESS!111! IT REALLY IS. NO JOKES._

_reviews are fecking wonderful, but I know I won't get any. so. sorry._


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